I am not the fine man
you take me for.
No no.
I come in April to sell a string of horses
and try my luck in the streams.
What I got for the stock
I lost at the wheel,
and the flake I washed up
I drank the fuck away.
I don't know as I'll get home at all.
I sold my boots.
I owe $9 to a whore.
- It looks like he fell off the platform. - It's just a broke-necked hoople, Al.
That he posed us no threat was a judgment you come to even as you fuckin' snored?
Turns on watch, Johnny, until this goddamn Hearst business settles out.
And not that we lack options... like the sleep from which none awaken.
Would you close your flap, that I don't forego my boiled eggs?
Do you believe the speeches will be delivered tonight?
The speeches...
the elections are hostage to the business of the camp,
which is bloody...
murderous.
And, you know...
I don't like this tea.
- Too cool? - It's too weak.
I do not make weak tea.
I oughtn't to tease.
I like mine unusually strong.
You might have said, Seth. It's an easy thing to fix.
- You're right. - I'm not a mind reader.
- I've said it now. - My goodness.
How am I?
I could wish your symptoms further remitted.
I find your answer vague.
Doctor, has your medicine dulled my faculties
or do you wish to cloud your meaning?
You don't do as well as I'd hoped.
Am I now losing my baby?
My opinion is you will.
And your symptoms make it
prudent to intervene.
You're pained at the stomach.
I'd... I'd laid that to...
to your medicine slowing my digestion.
The spasm in the muscles of your belly
doesn't owe to slowed digestion.
And while you are bleeding less,
that you bleed at all with pain at the abdomen
argues against further delay.
Have I time to see to certain arrangements?
May I begin to see to mine?
I should be back in about...
an hour and a half's time.
Put your school things together, little one.
If we know Hearst is coming, boss, why the fuck don't we strike first?
From the moment we leave the forest, Dan, it's all a giving up and adjusting.
Across the thoroughfare to see to that cocksucker's throat.
We forgo the rock for the dagger, learn distraction's use and deceptions
before the dagger is employed...
spirits, women, games of chance.
I'm older and I'm much less friendly to fuckin' change.
Change ain't lookin' for friends.
Change calls the tune we dance to.
Where are you going?
Whiskey, Captain?
- Morning, Miss Sunshine. - Morning, Cy.
What can you tell a man at the margin of things...
the reason for these canceled speeches?
I don't know why they was canceled.
You seem a little sour.
Don't think lying here these weeks,
I ain't had my dark moments.
Thank God I took this book up again.
If it really brings you peace, then I'm glad.
Hell, yes, it brings me peace.
Do you doubt that?
I try to believe.
You want to read some with me, honey?
"Same as you want to find a different way, then why couldn't Cy?"
Getting gut-stabbed by a minister of God will bring you to examine your path.
But I don't.
I had a gun to my ear at Shaunessy's yesterday.
What the hell were you doing at Shaunessy's?
Staying away from here.
You listen to me, young lady.
What brings a gun to the temple
is lack of gainful occupation and of being useful to others!
I don't see you try to kill yourself here.
All you do here is good for the girls and me too.
I don't want to run women no more.
And that's turning from your gift
and your training!
When you speak, I feel like it's the devil talking.
Ain't that a lovely thing to hear yourself accused of?
Excuse me, Mr. T, but fucking Lila's in extremis.
Jesus Christ!
Ought I get the doc? Leon seems over his head.
She'll see to it.
Yeah.
Try to stay afloat from the fuckin' sickbed,
have to listen to something like that.
Get the fuck inside, Leon, before I take out my gun and kill you!
- Joanie, this ain't the way it looks. - Get inside or get shot!
Well, hold her up then! Got a long fuckin' way to fall down.
Let me die, Joanie.
Start walking, you lousy whore.
Start walking.
Slept inside, in case you wasn't aware.
Miss Stubbs' request.
Thought she'd try someone competent keeping watch.
She's off to the Bella Union.
I can't worry about her right now.
Can you just help me lug in the fucking water?
I'm, for the day, off the bottle and about to bathe.
Camp get up a petition?
I can sniff this all you want, boss,
but I... I ain't got one fuckin' scintilla of an idea what these marks mean.
What if that's the door of our joint?
That would make
this line the bar.
- What would that make the Xs? - Murderers.
See to your task with the Jew.
A few fuckin' things history proves:
you sit still,
you fuckin' memorize, you repeat back what you fuckin' learn,
or, choosing otherwise, you display your knuckles
to be struck fuckin' bloody on the fuckin' desk!
That how you gonna start your talk to the children?
Shut the fuck up, Mose!
And don't tease me at a crucial fuckin' hour.
Can I listen?
From outside at your post near the shitter.
Could you have been born, Richardson,
and not egg-hatched as I've always assumed?
Did your mother hover over you,
snaggle-toothed and doting,
as you now hover over me?
I loved my mother.
Puberty may bring you to understand
what we take for mother love
is really murderous hatred and a desire for revenge.
Will you give your speech to be mayor tonight?
Whatever night I give it, count on me not to mince words.
"Electors of the camp, as to who should serve as mayor,
reasonable men may differ.
But as to who should be sheriff...
we all ought speak with one voice. And our words should be,
'Turn out the maniac Bullock, who set upon the mayor unprovoked,
who beat him with merciless protraction.'
Bullock should be murdered!
We should rise up and murder Bullock!
Thank you very much."
My father didn't liked me.
I'd like to use your ointment to suffocate you.
May the little one walk with you? Is that all right?
Of course.
My mother's sick.
We're closed for the next 15 minutes.
- Whiskey. - Beer.
I'm concerned it might be taken as provocation...
me serving his whiskey before you getting your beer,
- or the very reversal of that. - Just bring the whiskey.
Fuckin' beer.
And these others, they friends of yours, that come in on your heels?
You friends of these boys, fellas?
Should I be taking your orders all together?
- Was yours the fuckin' beer? - Mine was the fuckin' whiskey.
Right then.
Right you fuckin' are.
- Make a move, cocksuckers! - Don't you shoot 'em, Johnny!
If these fellas had been sent here to draw, I believe they'd have already done it.
Go ahead. Go on, fellas.
Mind the muck at the thoroughfare center.
Debates are on for tonight,
whoever you might want to tell.
I'll drink after I've ate.
Nuh-uh, no no. You don't want... you don't want to go in there.
Definitely a prudent investment.
If I could control even one my vices, believe me, I'd have kept the house myself.
Excuse me.
Oh, no.
That's what these are for.
Whether I ever fucking live there or not.
My husband and I agreed before marrying
that property held by either of us before our union
would not be encumbered by our marriage.
As to such properties held...
by me...
I name my ward Sofia inheritor.
I've heard her.
I wish no amendment
as to guardianship
or administration of those properties.
I've heard her.
Oughtn't Mr. Bullock be present to accept?
This is property before our marriage.
I know what it is.
Don't he need to accept,
being steward now to Sofia's interests?
Why don't I go fetch him?
We have a special guest with us today...
Miss Jane Cannary.
An Indian scout!
There's a child I know.
Sofia.
Anyways, uh...
I was a scout for Armstrong Custer.
- George. - You're right,
but I always called him "General" to his face,
and "Armstrong" behind his back.
- Why? - James.
I guess I...
I always spoke of him as "Armstrong"
'cause he seemed puffed up to me,
and "Armstrong" has a puffed up sound.
Any quarrel with me continuing, James?
Go ahead.
Uh-oh.
Why say "Uh-oh"?
If you don't mean to go on to explain yourself,
why say anything at all?!
Do you only feign stupidity while in fact plotting ways to madden me?!
- No. - Why did you say it?
Why did you say "Uh-oh"?!
It's the sheriff that beat you.
Now comes Mr. Hearst.
Gentlemen.
Two of his men throat-cut,
he picks the fuckin' fish.
Why do you think the men were his?
My wife would like to see you.
Kinda warm.
The man didn't listen...
his basic fundamental problem.
He'd look at hisself in the mirror when you'd make your report.
Once I said how thin his waist was...
...and how pretty I found his hair, just to get him to turn around,
which he did... to tell me get out of his tent.
So...
I guess my lesson I got to teach you...
listen and you won't get scalped.
And don't look at yourself too much in the mirror.
What else I found puffy...
he traveled with a dozen caged animals
like you'd see in some zoo in the East.
Like we don't have enough wild animals around here, huh?
Let us all thank Jane
for her bravery here today.
Thank you, Jane.
I know another brave person here too.
Several.
More. More more more more. Uh-huh.
More more.
All right.
Wider.
Not you!
All right.
Sofia must be protected.
If my first husband's family
attacks Sofia's title in court,
Mr. Hearst might be approached as a purchaser.
I'm sure he could buy the relevant authorities.
All right.
Given his history with Hearst,
I'd spare Mr. Ellsworth that indignity.
I understand.
Thank you, Mr. Bullock.
I regret nothing.
I bought the house.
The house. I bought it.
It doesn't mean we have to move in together.
Please remind Sofia
- that the full moon is in two days. - All right.
We three will watch it together.
Davey is taking a chance not letting Al do the scrubbing.
That's Davey's fucking problem.
All right.
Now Hearst...
sent these two, the two you had the drop on...
That didn't draw.
Yeah, he sent the two that didn't draw,
so that these two wouldn't be so quick to their irons.
And these two that you and Al murdered...
Correct. These... these two.
See, that give me and Al time to cut their throats.
Now that was Hearst showing Al his ass.
And sending this diagram ahead
was him signaling Al his intention?
Well, it was his preliminary signaling that he was gonna show his ass,
if Al was smart enough to know it.
Now otherwise, if Al didn't know it was coming,
he'd have been surprised when those two didn't back these two's play.
Well, thinking that Al would throw his hands up surprised
shows that Hearst ain't too smart!
Aw, he's smart, Johnny.
I mean, they're both, him and Al, real fuckin' smart.
That'd knock a buzzard off a shit wagon.
I just... I feel shunted aside or the like, not involved as much as previous.
Adams, you were busy with Star.
That you sent me off to see.
Thinking you'd be back before time for the murders.
So it wasn't like a decision you made to have the murders
while I was signing the papers?
You've no idea how fuckin' badly you're boring me.
Yeah?
That captain's brought over another envelope.
Won't you see with me what this might portend?
All right.
Drink? Or won't you be staying?
Ask the fella who made them Xs
if he hires out for portraits.
What's Al doing?
Like I fuckin' know.
If it was trailing water, we might get took for ducklings.
"Come watch the speeches with me
on..."
It's written in awkward hand.
"Come watch the speeches with me on my veranda."
That's what it says.
What in God's name is going on?
And I inquire about more than that hole.
These last months have made me expert. It was gunfire
- and it came from your saloon. - Has not the press a duty, Merrick,
qualifying its accounts in time of war?
Are we at war now here in the camp?
Has that fact been suppressed as well?
Absent formal declaration, Al,
information which affects this community is not my prerogative to disseminate;
to do so is my sacred responsibility.
Whores currently disseminating a dose, for example?
To inform within decency's limits. We've had this discussion before.
Citizens better die pustulating than touch indecent ink.
Make a list of the infected whores
and account for this morning's gunfire, and I'll publish it all.
I won't, fucking Merrick,
because neither's to my fucking interests,
just as you owning a print press proves only you've an interest in the truth.
Meaning up to a fucking point.
Slightly more than us others maybe,
but short of a fucking anointing or the shouldering of a sacred burden,
unless of course the print press was gift of an angel.
And I'd want to be there for that handoff myself.
Maybe you should print an extra saying the speeches are on again.
Tonight?
What time do you think would be best?
If people tried keeping their thoughts to theirselves...
Yes, sir?
Will you mind, Charlie, not being noted tonight from the hustings?
- Be a godsend. - Mrs. Ellsworth isn't well.
I'm sorry.
If, while I'm on that goddamn platform,
you could station outside her place...
Sure I could.
Sol's speaking too, you see, or I'd ask him.
Glad to do it, Bullock. Glad and fuckin' relieved.
Doc Cochran seeing to her?
In good hands then.
And Mrs. Bullock sees to Sofia.
Don't that child thrive now, with starting into school?
Sweet as before, notably more outgoing.
Trixie will come out from being in helping the Doc.
Likely to come out for a smoke.
Fuckin' mail, huh?
Uncharted territory, Harry. Coming up on 14 minutes.
I don't care. I don't care whatever you mean.
Readied as you were yesterday
only to have the event deferred,
do you suppose it's nerves
about giving your speech has your bowels in upheaval?
When you was a boy, Rutherford, I bet you was a hand
at tying cans to dogs' tails and setting cats ablaze.
Or uncertainty when they'll be held?
Overturning turtles was my specialty.
Wake up, Lila.
Wake up.
Don't you close your eyes again.
How do you make it through?
Go on, girl. Get out.
Seven times through, Alma,
I'm healthy as a fuckin' horse.
I trust you not to modify my instructions.
To the letter, Doc.
All right, begin.
You'll be all right.
All right.
Turn your head away from the cloth and breathe.
Shut the fuck up and concentrate.
Turn your head away, God damn it!
What I'm used to, this is like smelling fucking posies!
I would just soon that you not fucking pass out!
When you're done with hers, Doc, why don't you fucking kiss mine?!
I'll be back in just a moment, Sofia.
Round the dough's ends.
Mrs. Ellsworth is being seen to by Dr. Cochran.
And Trixie, I believe, is assisting him.
I'll keep care of Sofia while you deliver your speech.
And we'll both pray for Mrs. Ellsworth.
Go on then.
Spend time finding spine to put the bullet in your brain.
Calls me the fucking devil.
Show me another fucking strategy...
bedridden and liable to fucking slaughter.
Deception don't preclude the search
for fucking conviction.
- When is "when"? - You are a fucking stitch.
"About to begin"... it could mean anything.
There's a crowd outside. Are the speeches about to begin?
Is "when" now?
- Oh, dear. Oh, brother. - What is it?
Only Andy Cramed, you drug-addled turd!
- Gentlemen. - Yes, sir.
Yes, sirree. Reverend!
Excuse me for just a moment. Reverend!
Guess you heard about the clergical discount
on wheel and faro both.
Yes, Con?
Andy Cramed that stabbed you...
he's outside with Leon, sir.
- Is he? - Yes, sir. Just come in.
Is his blade sheathed?
No brandishin', no threatenin' gestures of any kind.
- I'll see him, Con. - Yes, sir.
Reverend Cramed.
- Or are you an apparition? - It's me, Cy.
Ain't that what a spirit would say?
It's Andy Cramed in the flesh. How are you, Cy?
Well I'd say, overall.
Though I'll never shit again without pain.
I'm sorry.
Now you ain't come to finish me off?
To ask your forgiveness.
Then decide how to vote?
Coming for the speeches was my excuse.
As far as stabbing me, Reverend,
you was sorely fuckin' provoked.
I denied you'd been called,
treated you like the shitbag fuckin' operator you used to be.
I forgive you, Cy,
as I come to beg your forgiveness.
The ribbon's at Matthew 12, Reverend.
Could you read verse 31 for me?
"Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy
will be forgiven
except blasphemy against the spirit."
Couldn't Matthew be speaking of me there?
Oh, Christ Al-fuckin'-mighty, I'm so glad to fuckin' see you, Andy,
with... with forgiveness in your fuckin' heart.
Oh... where is this strength coming from now?
Where is this strength coming from
that I feel flowing into me,
that lets me sit up and try to fuckin' touch you, Andy,
if only you'll fuckin' let me?
Fuck me! Fuckin' Jesus Christ Almighty!
Can you feel what's fuckin' moving here?
It's moving in the room right now!
If only you'd hold me, I believe I could walk...
Con said now may be when you asked to be told about.
Jesus Christ, you're well-arrived.
Would you have dope's cross off your shoulders, son?
I know I'd...
like to take less.
Then fall to your fuckin' knees.
Get to your motherfuckin' knees, Leon,
and ask the Lord to lift your burden part-way.
Hear me! Lord!
Don't fuck with the fuckin' deity, Leon!
You've got to come to Him wholehearted,
even when you're asking for partial relief.
O Lord! Let Leon cut down, Lord,
on the motherfuckin' dujie.
Let him cut way the fuck back.
I'll speak to you another time.
Oh!
Do you hear how I'm coming at him for you, Leon?
How I fully fuckin' supplicate the motherfucker?
Speeches are near commensurating, sir.
Now that's a definite.
Get the fuck up, Leon.
Help Con get me ready.
Any argument for us accompanying you over there, boss?
Don't strike the right note going over there with seconds.
You know goddamn well Hearst is gonna have his second there,
that sea-creature-looking cocksucker.
Hearst would have it understood the captain is just a hefty steward of the household.
Yeah, one with a dozen fuckin' pelts on his belt.
Even so, Dan,
Hearst's man has pretext for his presence.
You and the others don't,
what with the olive branch I'll be bearing between my teeth.
- Mind if we watch you from the balcony? - Not at all.
Moment seems meet, blow me a kiss.
Excuse me.
If I could, I'd tear my skin off.
If I could, I'd put out my eyes.
- Now now. - I hate being sick.
Cy knew what I was.
He knew to pick me all those years back.
Miss Stubbs, did you like my friend Bill Hickok?
Oh, I...
I just met him the once at the Bella,
at poker with Jack McCall.
Did you like Bill that night?
I thought he was a gentleman.
He was.
I felt he had a good soul.
He did, Miss Stubbs.
I can say that that knew him 20 years.
You know what else?
Bill that we both liked so well,
and most everyone did that knew him
including some he killed...
Bill thought as ill of his own self as you seem to do about you.
So go on and try explaining people to me.
And same as hearing me say what Bill thought of hisself
I don't expect brings you to think any less of him...
maybe you, Miss Stubbs,
oughtn't to stand judge and jury
and every other job in court on your own personal case.
Maybe coming to verdict, credit others' opinion of you
like you do what you think of Bill...
still.
So I'm gonna... I'm gonna just do some introductory remarks.
I'll call you up on stage, say what you have to say and that's it.
Aw, shit.
Mr. Hearst.
Do you come to me placated, Mr. Swearengen?
Never more so, not even as a tiny tot.
Let's hear the speeches together.
Show me your hole in the wall,
which I find a useful advance.
De Tocqueville said,
"When an opinion has taken root in a democracy
and established itself in the mind of the majority,
it thereafter persists by itself."
Tonight let us plant
the seed of an opinion
to take root and grow deep,
that gathering to this end
choosing those who will act in our name is proper,
so that in years to come
among those who succeed us in this thoroughfare
this idea will persist
and seem to them self-evident.
EB Farnum and Sol Star.
The incumbent will address us first.
Oh God.
I give no long speech tonight.
You know me and my works.
Your bosom must swell with pride, Mr. Swearengen.
Swellings and saggings to the tit I lay at the exactions of time.
I mean you worked to bring this evening about.
Labor without pleasure
makes us our destiny's slaves.
To work for crumbs or to keep from the lash
says maybe a slave's what you are.
I'll not question those either who have faith in my rival,
or make faith an issue of any sort.
We are long past the time of the pharaohs.
I cannot decree Mr. Star make exodus.
Were you whipped, Mr. Swearengen?
And does the lash snap still?
Do you wait for the strike after all these years?
Would the grip have been the part you were versed with?
I was born to neither power nor money.
My father sold goods from a countryside crossroads hut.
A clear choice for Deadwood!
Farnum... twice measured; Star... once cut.
EB Farnum!
Assayed and proven true!
Farnum! Christ knows he's earned it!
Thank you.
Mr. Star!
When last we spoke
you warranted your willingness
to interfere with me.
Only to convey that my place should be for my uses.
I won't need a miracle far as parting the creek
to take my leave of the camp.
I just bought a house and plan to live here as long as God gives me.
And my intention in making my sacrifice to you today...
and it seems, my life's great challenge...
was to show the virtue of consolidating purposes.
Keep people from shitting in the creek!
That and siftings runoff,
tailings accumulating...
I'd say that's naming horseshit virtue.
Purposes butt up against each other
and the strong call "consolidating"
bending the weak to their will.
And I'd add that whoever's behind me is about to study his guts.
That's Captain Turner
at three steps' remove.
He has heard about your knifework close in.
No lowered pants in the Whitewood!
That's enough about the shit in the creek.
Away from your seconds' view,
the captain's pistol is trained at your head.
Do you believe yourself enough an adept,
Mr. Swearengen, to overcome your disadvantage
or you will you walk with us inside?
Hmm.
Not throwing my hands up or my skirt over my head
don't mean I ain't awestruck.
They ain't slobbering on each other, but they ain't snarling neither.
Needs to do with the camp, or problems,
you can always find me at the hardware store.
Seth Bullock for sheriff!
I agree with what Mr. Star says.
I find I usually do.
I'm lucky we've been partnered these years.
It keeps giving me time to catch up.
I'm glad he's standing for office,
and I'd try to be as good a sheriff...
as he'd be a mayor to the camp.
Sol's buying a house.
I built one last year.
I'm glad we're in the camp...
even on the sorriest of days.
Harry Manning for sheriff.
Accepting your premise, Mr. Swearengen,
I'll not name how you would benefit from the action I wish you to take,
saying only instead it's my will... to which I will have you bend.
I suggest you drink that.
No.
I would incorporate into my holdings the claim now owned by Mrs. Ellsworth.
I am told that you can help me bring this about.
Tell me how you will help.
This is a grip I'm used to.
Well, as far as making your way into her...
act averse to nasty language
and partial to fruity tea.
But I'd like to get known
far as wanting to help the camp.
We need a fire brigade,
and I'd like to lead it.
I've always loved fires since... since I was a boy.
If you're wanting drink, the No. 10's serving.
Oh, also...
also, the graveyard needs moving.
That's it.
Well, thank you all for coming.
Please think about what you heard here tonight,
and thank you again.
Nothing's over yet.
Doc would be dour at a christening,
but Trixie says he wasn't scowling how he does,
or shaking his jowls like a bulldog.
- Thank you, Charlie. - All right.
Oh God. That's the look he gets on his face when he's fuckin' hurt.
That man appears worse hurt than I am.
Bless his heart.
What happened?
We watched the speeches together. Yours was especially swell.
I need to lean on you, but don't you fuckin' look up.
- Should I go up and get him? - Hey, boys!
What'd you think of the speeches, huh?
- I'll go get the cocksucker now. - Stay the fuck away from him.
I'm having mine served cold.
First one to touch me I kill.
♪ Hole in the wall, there's a hole ♪
- ♪ A hole in the wall ♪ - ♪ There's a hole ♪
♪ A hole in the wall ♪
- ♪ Hole in the wall ♪ - ♪ The wall where I live ♪
- ♪ Looks bad ♪ - ♪ That hole in the wall ♪
- ♪ Hole in the wall ♪ - ♪ A hole in the wall where I live ♪
- ♪ 'Cause he made it ♪ - ♪ That hole in the wall ♪
- ♪ He made it ♪ - ♪ That hole in the wall ♪
- ♪ Hole in the wall ♪ - ♪ A hole in the wall where I live ♪
- ♪ Love will seal it ♪ - ♪ That hole in the wall ♪
- ♪ Love gonna seal it ♪ - ♪ That hole in the wall ♪
- ♪ Hole in the wall ♪ - ♪ A hole in the wall where I live ♪
- ♪ A hole in the wall ♪ - ♪ Looks bad ♪
- ♪ That hole in the wall ♪ - ♪ I don't like it ♪
- ♪ That hole in the wall ♪ - ♪ Hole in the wall ♪
♪ The wall where I live. ♪